It’s the relationship equivalent of “We need to talk.”

You stroll into the office on a Friday morning that seems like every other, upgrading to a large coffee to push away the headache from last night’s extra glass of wine at dinner. You comment on some reality show drama to your co-workers, then head for your desk to start the day.

However, your boss catches you just as you’re about to sit down, surprising you with the innocuous request:

“Can you step into my office for a moment? I need to chat with you about something.”

Ten minutes later your world is crashing around you. You know that your supervisor specifically explained the situation — it was as if they were reading off a script — but your brain couldn’t process all the buzzwords like “hierarchy restructuring” and “corporate reorganization” and “economic budget constraints” because your mind was racing trying to process the one truth that was abundantly clear:

You’ve lost your job.

Before you get ready to jump out the nearest window, there are certain things you can do right away to help things go a bit more smoothly. Here is a 6-step action plan.

1) Control your emotions

Everyone reacts differently in a crisis situation. In fact, emotions when losing your job are similar to unceremoniously getting dumped by your boyfriend or girlfriend: anger, confusion, disbelief, sadness, fear, and self-doubt.

We’ll start with the obvious and say that while angrily throwing chairs around might make you feel good in the moment, it’s going to reflect badly on your integrity down the line. Likewise for bursting into tears. Although it may be difficult, you’ve got to spring into action and think logistically.

Resist the urge to press for more details: Is this about my performance? What can I do to change this? What if I take a pay cut or vow to work harder?

In reality, all of these things have been considered already and the decision has been made. There’s nothing you can do about it, so focus on actions moving forward.

2) Evaluate your timeline

In cases with high-level executives or when sensitive company information is at stake, someone from Human Resources — and possibly security — may instantly appear to confiscate your ID and escort you out of the building.

In other examples, you’ll be asked to stay on staff for a few more days, allowing you to have a “soft exit,” wrapping up projects with existing clients and transferring knowledge to whoever will be taking over your job (always an awkward transition).

Determining which scenario is happening to you will dictate how quickly you need to do the rest of your tasks.

3) Back up your files

What a company fears most (besides the chair-throwing incident) is a disgruntled employee stealing private company information. To be clear, a scenario where a laid off salesperson grabs their “Rolodex” of client names with the intention of luring them away is both illegal and unethical. According to one study, 1 in 4 departing employees steal data when leaving.

Further complicating things in the digital age are the myriad of passwords that employees have for company servers or social media sites. With access to a company’s brand page on Facebook or Twitter, an angry employee can spread his displeasure to millions within minutes.

Again, I want to emphasize that I am not advocating taking any company property that doesn’t belong to you. The fact is, most employment contracts specify that everything you do and create while at the company is legally theirs. No questions asked.

However, what about retrieving personal information from your work computer? Is it a good practice to keep your work files and personal files completely separate from each other? Of course. But some people may not have a computer of their own. So if the only place the seating chart spreadsheet for your upcoming wedding resides is on your company laptop, your boss will usually understand.

In the middle can be a gray area. What if you work at a non-profit and there are photos of you at a charity event that you hosted for the company? What if you work at an advertising agency and edited an award-winning video, and want to use that in your portfolio? The relationship you have with your employer will dictate how these questions are answered.

4) Inform the people that work for you

When I was most recently laid off, it was very important to me that the four employees that I managed hear the news directly from me. They surely knew that something was up when they received an urgent request to drop everything for a meeting, and the news came as a shock to them. However, they felt better that they were able to hear the entire story first-hand, and then be able to ask questions.

5) Get everything in writing

There’s a good chance that the company is way ahead of you in terms of the details of your departure. Consider all of the possible elements:

• Determining your last day
• Receipt of your last paycheck
• Claiming unused vacation time
• Severance pay
• Bonus eligibility
• Continuation of health benefits
• Retirement savings accounts
• Unemployment assistance

There’s no way that you can process everything at once, so be sure they give you everything in writing. Do not sign anything until you’ve had time to go through all the details and ask any questions.

6) Control the message

This is one of the most important steps in the process, but one that few people consider. In the new economy, people are becoming their own media companies.

Even if they have a full-time job, they “market” and “advertise” themselves as they craft their own personal brand on Facebook, Twitter, online video, and photos.

What they need to do in this case is also be their own publicist.

It’s a sad fact that any kind of office turmoil will immediately be followed by office gossip. Human nature dictates that there will be some people thrilled to be the first person to inform everyone, “Did you hear the news? Joe and Sue just got fired!”

Rarely are the facts correct as gossip spreads.

The sentiment at best is “Poor Joe, he must be devastated” and at worst “I bet it was because he failed on his latest project.”

What follows is the outline of an email that I sent to employees in my department that I was close to, and the intention behind it.

Sample e-mail when laid off

“Hello, by now you’re probably aware that my job was eliminated this morning during the reorganization.”

[This addresses the situation, emphasizes the fact that it was a result of the restructure and not performance-based, and gives people words to repeat].

“However, I will be here through the end of the week to help with the transition. During this time, you don’t have to “tip-toe” around the issue so feel free to stop by.”

[When something like this happens in an office, people don’t know how to react. In my case, I immediately saw how awkward everyone was, as they didn’t know whether to avoid me or to console me. I broke the ice by telling them I was fine and this made sense to them since I was cooperating during the transition].

“In fact, rather than feel sorry for me, you’ll probably want to wipe the smile off of my face since I’m actually really excited. As you know, I have a myriad of side projects including my book, my blog, and speaking opportunities. I’ve already started researching working remotely from Buenos Aires.”

[Is this bragging a bit and putting a PR spin on the story? Yes. However, the reason it works is that it was 100% true. People knew of my side interests, I had already started developing a plan to quit my job in the next 6 months, and I ended up keeping my promise — I was working from a cafe in South America exactly 6 weeks later.]

If done right, the sentiment can turn from “that poor person lost their job” to “Hmmm, I kind of wish I didn’t have to work either.”

The gossip crowd loves when someone is blindsided by news, so another alternative would be to say “I knew with this economy no job was safe, so fortunately I’ve kept my resume up to date, I have a wide range of professional contacts, and I’ve already started planning out companies that I am going to reach out to.” The key here?

Show that you are being proactive about the news.

The final step I took was emailing a group of employees, vendors, and contacts outside of my immediate department. For me, this included the editor in chief of both WIRED Magazine and Wired.com, the close staff I worked with in the San Francisco office, and all the various mentors and fantastic coworkers I had worked with in this large company over the past 5 years.

I quickly detailed the situation, said what a privilege it was working with them, and gave them helpful information on who to contact for my old obligations, and how to keep in touch with me in the future. Again, it really helps if this was true. I really did enjoy my 5 years there, and made a lot of good friends.

High-level executives don’t like to be caught by surprise with information, so they appreciate being told the facts right away and being in the know. Everyone can be gracious when things are going well, but taking the high road when situations change shows your true character should your paths cross again.

By following these action items, not only can you avoid burning bridges, but you can actually build some on the way out. That’s a good thing for any kind of relationship.

“In these uncertain economic times…”

That phrase entered our lexicon within the past few years, becoming the default lead-in sentence for politicians, newscasters, and CEOs alike before delivering bad news about jobs or the economy.

The recession took its toll on the workforce in different ways:

- Many fell victim to cutbacks and were laid off, as an estimated 8 million U.S. jobs were lost from 2007-2010.

- College graduates that eagerly entered their freshman year in the fall of 2005 or 2006 when unemployment was around 4.6% walked across the stage and directly into a buzz saw of twice that rate in May 2009 and 2010.

- Those remaining hunkered down at their current jobs during the “budget freeze” era, accepting that “not getting laid off is the new getting promoted.”

When will the economy fully be recovered? No one can say for sure as various industries will rebound faster than others, and some segments have been forever altered.

One thing’s for sure, a lot has happened during this time. Whether you’re ready to redouble your job search efforts, determined to get that first job and move out of your parent’s basement, or have decided to search for greener pastures, it’s a good idea to make sure your job search skills have evolved to match the new economy.

The new networking

A common mistake some job-seekers make is spending too much time searching for the perfect position on job boards. In reality, studies have shown that upward of 80% of jobs are found through networking.

So while “SuperMegaJobSite.com” is fine for seeing what companies are hiring and what positions are in demand, a better use of your time spent online would be cultivating your network.

Clearly, many people got the message and built out their network during the recession. Between March 2008 and March 2011, LinkedIn.com jumped from 20 million members to 100 million, making it one of the largest social networking sites on the web. A new person joins every second.

Instead of: Shotgunning resumes to random companies that you might want to work for

Try: Target a handful of places where you’d love to work, then use LinkedIn to cultivate a broad network and find a connection to someone that works there.

Sitting down for a cup of coffee with your old fraternity brother’s cousins’s girlfriend might seem like a long-shot, but if she knows of a job opening that hasn’t been advertised yet, she can hand deliver your resume to HR and bypass hundreds of competing candidates.

The new resume

There are some basic tips to make sure your standard resume is up to par:

- Save it as a PDF format so that it can be universally read. There are still just enough differences in Microsoft Word versions and Mac vs PC conversions that someone opening your perfectly aligned resume with the Copperplate Gothic Bold font could see something quite different than what you intended.

- Name your document Firstname_Lastname_Resume.pdf.  If you name your file something generic (resume.pdf) or unique to you (Mktg-Res-RevisedVer3.4.pdf), it will get lost if a recruiter saves all the documents in one folder.

- Likewise, use a professional email address. Firstname.Lastname@Gmail.com is good.  SuprKitten34@aol.com is not.

But the traditional resume is not enough. You should also have a web presence.

For writers, designers, videographers and other creatives, a professional looking, up-to-date website with examples of your work is a must.

But what about your average Joe? Having your own website presence gives companies a landing page when they Google you (and yes, they will Google you), and is easier than you think.

Step 1) Secure your URL

Head over to a site such as GoDaddy.com and register your name. Of course, the chances of the domain being available is a lot greater if your name is Horatio Knickerbocker vs John Smith, so you might need to get creative by adding your middle initial, a nickname, or another word such as “online” to the name.

Step 2) Set up your website

One of the fastest and easiest ways to set up a web presence is through a site called About.me. (www.about.me) This allows you to add a description of who you are and what you do, a quick photo, and links to your social media profiles.

Step 3) Redirect people to your profile

Go back to GoDaddy.com and find a “URL Redirect” section under your account and point your personal domain name (HoratioKnickerbocker.com) to the about.me page that you created (www.about.me/horatioknickerbocker). This gives you an easier to remember, more streamlined version that will appear higher in search engines.

Note: For a more robust website, see my article “How to Create a Personal Website.”

The new power suit

In simpler times, picking out an outfit for an interview was easy. For men, it was as simple as getting a navy suit, a crisp white shirt and a power tie. But now that some offices seemingly mandate hoodies and jeans as standard dress, things get complicated.

To be clear, when on an interview, you should always look as professional as possible, and in many cases that means a suit and tie. But the key is knowing your audience. A Wall Street finance job will be much different than a startup in Silicon Valley.

If a full suit and tie feels too much for the company culture you are meeting with, you could lose the tie. Another option is to keep the dress pants, dress shirt, and tie, but lose the jacket. And in some cases, the best mix of “casual yet respectful” is a dress shirt and jacket paired with a pair of new, clean, dark jeans.

Consider the advice of former Apple, Inc evangelist Guy Kawasaki, who encourages people to “dress for a tie” in business meetings. He says:

If you show up wearing ripped jeans a hoodie to a formal meeting where everyone else is wearing suits, you’re saying “I don’t respect you”… if you show up wearing a suit and oozing style to a casual meeting where everyone else is dressed down, you’re saying “I am better than you”… shoot for a relatively even match.

The new portfolio

The photos we take, the videos we shoot, and the journalism we read have all gone digital. No longer the sole realm of design and photography creatives, the portfolio has gone digital as well.

The concept is simple… why tell the interviewer about the skills you have, when you can do one better and show them?

- Are you a marketer that worked on an extensive online campaign? Take screenshots of the website, ad banners, and emails that were sent.

- Are you an event planner that hosted a successful event for a client? Display promotional materials, multiple photos from the day, and written testimonials from clients.

- Are you the director of fundraising for a non-profit? Wow them with a short video of the kids that your company is striving to help.

Best of all, you no longer need to lug in a heavy laptop, power it up, and find room on someone’s desk to display your highlights. With the advent of the Apple iPad and other tablets, you can create a compelling portfolio and simply hand the device to the interviewer for them to swipe through at their own pace.

The new negotiation

In the past, when pressed for salary requirements, you might have taken your current compensation, added 20%, and hoped for the best. Or took a wild guess at what the job was paying. Or outright lied through your teeth.

Now, technology has leveled the playing field. Sites like Payscale.com and Salary.com give you up-to-date, competitive salary ranges for most every job in every industry. On the site Glassdoor.com, you can even see specific feedback on specific companies.

While many are hesitant to haggle over salary at all given the recent job climate, the fact is that if you do your homework and approach the conversation with data to back up your argument, most companies have wiggle room above and beyond their initial offer. The key is to ask.

Summary

As “these uncertain economic times” start to develop a bit more certainty, there are several key things that you can do to improve your chances at landing the job you want. Update your job skills to the new economy and give yourself the best possible chance to succeed.

The person sitting next to you at work has been acting peculiar.

Nothing dramatic… after all, you’ve shared the same workspace for years, worked on several successful projects together, and survived a round of layoffs back in 2009, coming out fine on the other side.

But it’s the little things…

• There’s a new hop in their step as they go to and from meetings
• You see them hanging out near the VP’s office more often
• And that outfit they’re wearing today looks great on them… is it new?

Eventually you can’t help but think:

Did my co-worker steal my raise?

There’s no doubt the economy was down for the count in recent years:

• An estimated 2.6 millions jobs lost in 2008
• 32% of companies freezing salaries in 2009
• Unemployment above 9% for all of 2010
• The Occupy Wall Street movement highlights economic inequality in 2011

You’re thinking to yourself, “I can’t get a raise or ask for more money because the economy is still bad, right? Right?”

Well, for sure — no matter when you’re reading this — there will be some sectors that never recover. A renaissance in Detroit will probably take at least a decade, some housing markets are still out of whack, and some industries like publishing, music, and higher education will continue to face some form of disruption.

But as far back as December 2010, a year-end survey by research group Mercer found that a whopping 98% of companies said they planned to raise base pay in 2011.  And those salary freezes? Human Resources firm Towers Watson said only 5% of companies planned on doing so in 2011.

So yes, perhaps your boss is still holding the company line that “the economy is unstable” when you’re thinking about a pay increase.

Or perhaps it’s just an excuse in your head because you’re afraid.

What are three things you can do to get your piece of the pie?

1) Ask

The first thing to do is the easiest. Just because revenue is rebounding doesn’t mean companies are automatically giving across the board bumps in pay. They’re just not going to volunteer it. You need to ask. but you’ll need to do it the right way.

Let’s say you go in and complain that you need more money because your 401(k) tanked, the value of your house plummeted, and everything is more expensive. You whine about how cheap the company is for not giving you a raise for a few years, and you heard that Larry over in finance makes more money than you. Your boss says he’ll think about it.

Now let’s say your co-worker comes in with a plan, outlining the things that really matter:

• Numbers showing how much the company made on their last project
• Cost savings from the most recent budget numbers
• Special training and certification that only they have

Who would you give the raise to?

2) Be a Rock Star

The good news is that raises are out there for some people. The average raise is usually around 3%.  The even better news is, since 2012 that’s finally beating inflation.

The way to stay in the black is to outshine your co-workers and be the Rock Star of the office. If you’re staying in your current job, your best bet for a larger increase is a promotion. How to pull that off? Take on tasks that make your boss’ job easier. Volunteer to work on high-profile or revenue-generating projects. Be a mentor to newer employees. Come in early or stay late. Stay up on industry trends. Present a new way to make the company money.

In short, make your work stand out so that your boss can’t help but reward you.

3) If you don’t like the answer they give, it might be time to test the market.

Even if you still enjoy your current job, going on an interview will let you know what your value is on the marketplace, and what skills are important. If it’s been awhile since you’ve looked, after you’ve updated that red power tie, make sure your other skills are up to date as well:

• Refresh your resume – Paying special attention to new technology and social media skills you may have learned. Better yet, build a digital portfolio.
• Tap into your network – Remember that upwards of 80% of all jobs are found through networking, and the web has made it easier than ever.
• Hone up on salary negotiation skills – The HR manager on the other side of the table negotiates salary for a living. You don’t. But that doesn’t mean you should be unprepared and freeze up when they ask your salary requirements. Check out one of my courses or hire me as a coach to get back up to speed.

So if you look over at your co-worker and they’re sitting there with a smirk on their face – and using a cashmere mousepad – they may be making more money than you. It’s time to take action.